FA Paxview Humor

Recently on Twitter I got involved in a conversation with someone who was sending out some pretty funny passenger observations from the flight attendant perspective. I said we need some parity here; How about a post on passenger humor directed at FA’s? Of course I started with the obvious…

Her reply after seeing this was go ahead, “Do it”. Well I always obey FA instructions, so I am doing it!

Now I need to be clear. I have good friends who are FA’s, and they are some of the hardest working girls (and guys) that I know, who often don’t get the respect they deserve. And all you FA’s out there have me trumped since you see 100-200 passengers on every flight, often several flights a day, while passengers like me will only see a handful of FA’s each week. So, you win on the numbers.

But that ain’t going to stop me from rising to this challenge…

Yes, many of these jokes were already old when I was still young. But with that being said; Here I go putting my oversized feet into my big mouth.

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Why do senior FA’s like to work with the drink cart? It doubles as a walker

What do you call a dozen Flight Attendants in a lounge? A whine cellar

Why do blonde FA’s have more fun? They are easier to find in the dark

How can you tell a senior FA apart from a pit bill? One uses lipstick

Why did it take the new FA 5 minutes to open the orange juice? The carton said “concentrate”

What is the difference between a tired FA and a jet engine? The engine stops whining at the gate

What’s an FA’s favorite pickup line? Marry me, and fly for free

What is the easiest way to confuse an FA? Ask them what day of the week it is

What is the difference between an energetic new FA and a Doberman? 25 years of seniority

How can you identify a group of FA’s in a restaurant? They are the only ones eating while standing up

How do you stop an FA from having an orgasm? Press the call button twice, then she will never come

What is an FA’s most effective form of birth control? Her personality

How does an FA ask the Captain if he was a fighter pilot? You don’t have to, he’s going to tell you anyways

How does an FA separate those who are never wrong and those who are never right? By closing the cockpit door

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OK, sure the FA’s have to deal with a lot of barefoot, drunk, and obnoxious pax.

And I have yet to see a barefoot drunk and obnoxious FA (at least not while on duty).

But all passengers know that the FA standards today, just ain’t what they used to be…

So while you are laughing at us, we sometimes get to laugh at you too. Anyways, laughter is the best medicine, and we all can use a few doses. So if you have any jokes you would like added to this list, just let me know. I will review and censor (as needed!) before adding them, but I do appreciate all your contributions.

@JR_justJR (twitter)